With the face of freaking him out, we have been left to discover in the wonderful world of social networks the latest men’s fashion to flirt. Videos and more videos of young boys pretending to be arrested. Wait, before asking you what is so sensual about this, we can tell you the best. Once handcuffed against the wall in an act of brutal police violence, the kids take a moment to look at the camera with an ‘I’m going to penetrate you’ face. An infallible pant remover, come on, here several colleagues have made excuses to leave before the office. And in view of this, we have decided to gather the best tips and techniques to seduce troche and moche based on our only experience, television.
Maybe the flirt from Friends was Joey and his phrase ‘how’s that going?’ will guarantee the conquest. But it is too obvious, we recommend you break the ice with some kind of question: would you rather die drowned or burned alive? Or maybe, if you don’t want to go for the existentialist thing and you are more into science, talking about the types of gases with odor and without odor.
Can’t the words come out? Relax, prepare a performance with a boombox to set the scene and some posters with photographs and magazine letters cut out in the purest psychopathic stalker style. It never fails. He will know that you have worked it more than in a fifth grade crafts class, and he likes that a lot.
And if creativity isn’t your thing, you can always use the charming gaff trick. Visualize your conquest and meet him with a glass of any drink to go (if it’s burning, better, more exciting). Here you have to measure the times very well, play the distraction and boom! bumping you like he doesn’t want the thing and spilling the liquid on him. Apologize with the face of God, what have I done! and try to fiddle a bit without permission, because there is nothing more exciting than invading personal space and taking liberties that no one has given you.
Finally, and if none of this works, you only have one card left, you must have an epic and disproportionate romantic gesture. The best, obviously, is to interrupt someone who is about to catch a flight to confess your eternal love, but it is not always easy and to be honest, if you do not live in a place with an airport it is a mess. The other option is to sing something to him in public that includes the phrases ‘without you I am nothing’, ‘soul mate’, or ’empty bed’. Accompany the melody with a cool choreography in which you touch your chest with a shocked face. The mixture of shame and other people’s shame will inevitably give way to the dust of your life.
We recommend following these tips one by one and to the letter for a greater guarantee of success. Think that if it does not work for you, you will only have to resort to your own charms and then yes, you will be screwed.